I Get That a Lot

"This doesn't look like you."

"I get that a lot."

So it's been eight whole months since my nose job and about eight years since my last blog post, it seems. And my car hit 39,000 miles, so it's birthdays all around.

As I wrote in my last blog post, back when Shelbyville was called Morganville, and it was the style to tie an onion on your belt, and nickles had bumblebees on them, I have a lot of problems with my driver's license. I've been asked for other forms of ID at bars, my friend Roger told me I looked like a 40-year old divorcee, and, well, I get a lot of hairy eyeballs and snickers. My driver's license is up at the end of the year, so I went ahead and got a new one on my lunch break. In case you're in awe of this feat, I'll tell you that the Virginia DMV is extremely efficient and I was out the door in less than a half-hour, and I only wanted to stab one person in the eyeball, and she was a customer.

"I need to renew my license, but I absolutely have to get this picture retaken, " I told the guy at desk #4 when my number was called (in less than three minutes). He looked at it and gave me the "Hmmmm...." you get when someone is trying to be diplomatic and not ask you if you stole your driver's license from someone in a rehab clinic or possibly a fat farm.

The photo-taking guy (a different guy) called my name, looked at my license, looked at me, and said, "this doesn't look like you." My new one popped up on the screen, "Ahhh, very nice photo," which I'm sure he tells all the girls. He was very kind in dealing with my vanity, taking two photos because my hair was messed up in the first one.

So I anticipate no further interrogations on the driver's license front; though this one will be valid until I'm 38, at which point, I could look like a hausfrau, for all I know.

That business aside, I'll bet you're wondering how my nose is doing! Or else you're bored at work and are amused by my babble. The nose is great aside from a few things. For one, it runs a lot. Especially in cold weather, like everyone's does, but I use a lot of tissues. Do you ever feel your nose running, and it's not such an opportune time to get out a tissue? And you hope the person you're talking to can't see that your nose is running? That's a daily occurrence for me. So I'm hoping that stops sometime soon.

My nose is still a little stiff, though you can move it around a bit now--I can still freak people out a little by telling them, "Touch my nose!" and people ALWAYS take me up on that offer, as opposed to the "Pull my finger" offer or the "This tastes awful--try it!" offer that one commonly receives. First you get the look--did she really just ask me to touch her nose? She'll LET me touch her nose? Should I? OK, I'm pretty curious. Next, the hesitant jab towards my face. Then, the look of wonderment that, indeed, my nose IS stiff as a board.

Finally, sunglasses continue to hurt. It's not awful, just uncomfortable. The bridge of my nose just feels bony and fragile and I haven't gotten used to that yet, and I'm not sure I will.

"So are you happy?" I get that a lot, too. Yes! I'm thrilled and I'm only sorry I didn't have it done sooner.