Ask a Rhinoplasty Patient, Part IV

Ok, don't get too excited here, what with ANOTHER blog post, and so soon. I felt rather chipper and literary, so thought I'd write for you all. These things can't be forced, you know. I must feel inspired...Oh, let's face it: I'm a pretty lazy person with a short attention span, and I'm running out of things to write about within the realm of rhinoplasty. Many people have asked me to write on other topics and, well, maybe I will. I've been throwing around the idea of either a curmudgeonly advice column or a Jen's Misadventures in Dating sort of blog, but well, even though I go out on some pretty unfathomable dates with some socially inept cretins, they're still socially inept cretins with feelings and, in my more sympathetic moments, I'd feel bad if they read about themselves in my blog.

Moving on to today's question:

Dear Rhinoplasty Patient,
Are your scars healed now?
Chris

Ok, before I answer this, Chris has known me for a long time. How long, exactly? (Apologies to Chris, but these are the hazards of asking The Rhinoplasty Patient).

Here we are at my senior prom. You're probably thinking, jeez, Jen, there's a lounge singer in DuPont who wants his dress back. My only defense is, it was 1996. I'd rather not discuss my hair or makeup or posture, which are awful for any time period.

Anyhow, why do I bring this up? I don't see Chris much these days, and I think he was worried that I was going to come out a gorgon, but was very kind with his encouragement nonetheless. I think folks who have known you a long time become very concerned that you'll look different from how they remember you. Chris actually asked this question way back in May, and has seen my photos since then through the magic of Facebook, and he approves.

Dear Chris,

After the first couple of weeks, and really only then because of the swelling and black eyes, a nose job patient will look completely normal even though they're still pretty banged-up on the inside.

When you have a nose job, you either have an "open" or a "closed" procedure. An open procedure is when the surgeon cuts the skin right under your nostrils and peels it back and works on your nose and then stitches you back up in the same spot. This is, understandably, more traumatic. I think open procedures are a bit more rare these days, but even when you have an open, you're given salves and whatnot so that you're not going to have a scar when all is said and done.

I had the closed procedure. During a closed rhinoplasty, the surgeon goes into your nostrils and cuts away at the bone, sight unseen, but because plastic surgeons are typically the best surgeons, period, this is okay. He can tell what your nose is going to look like because your skin will drape over the bone and he can pretty much see the end result before you swell up like a Macy's Day Parade balloon. All of the stitches are inside of your nose, sewn with dissolvable stitches (which are really very interesting and maybe a topic for another day). Once the swelling goes down and the black eyes go away, no one can tell you had surgery by looking at you.

Anyhow, to close, I went around telling everyone that I was going to do a six-month anniversary blog post. Clearly, that didn't happen. I DID actually take some six-month anniversary photos, posted here. I would take some eight-month anniversary ones, but, well, I don't look any different, and it's after 9 p.m. while I'm writing this, and my makeup doesn't look so fresh.

So first, here's me in one of my photo studios a/k/a the bedroom, complete with unmade bed, trying to figure out the lighting.

Then I took this one, which I rather like and I call my Great Expectations shot because it's so...green. Green top, green eyes, green earrings and sort of a sepia mist over the whole thing. The Great Expectations reference because the director of the 1998 movie version is this guy who has a thing with green. Go ahead and rent it, or just take my word for it.

Here are the more familiar front and side shots, once I stopped messing around being arty with the lighting. It has a scoop to it!