Bully for You

At the risk of sounding like a polemicist after ranting about mawkish advertising campaigns and insipid literature, I want to tell you about something I read today that bothered me and that I think I need to address to anyone who is thinking about going through with cosmetic surgery.

A gal wrote about how she had an awful nose and was picked on in school and because of that, she always felt bad about herself (she's in her 30s now), so she had just had a nose job. Being bullied is horrible and a part of growing up, of course, but, in my experience, if kids aren't picking on you for one thing, it's another. If they have nothing to go on, they'll make it up. Once you get one thing fixed (and I find myself guilty of this as well), there's always room for some other improvement. It's like getting a new sofa, and finding it makes your rugs look shabby, and then new rugs make the hardwoods look dull, and then shiny hardwoods make the paint look dingy, and so on. This has happened to me, as well, and I've really had to just mentally put a stop to it. Wow, I thought, I have this great nose, but what if my eyebrows were a little higher, and I can't really be pretty because my jawline is too wide, and my pores are too big...Before you know it, you're Jocelyn Wildenstein.

Anyway, I've been involved in a number of political campaigns and Peter, who has been an elected official up in Massachusetts (as a Republican, no less), once pointed out a very important thing about being a candidate, and I find myself evaluating people who ask me to work on their campaigns by this measure (this really is relevant, I swear). A lot of people run for office because they feel bad about themselves and want people to like them and think that, by becoming a city councilman or a congressman, suddenly they are going to wake up and be a different person. You're not. You're still the same person--you were still a nerd in high school and your finances are still a mess, that's not going to magically go away. As a matter of fact, if you win, you now have MORE problems than before and your life is MORE complicated, and if you lose, you now have confirmation that 60% of the people didn't like you at all.



The point is, by getting plastic surgery, you shouldn't expect your life to turn around. Maybe you'll be more confident (I don't wander around parties thinking that everyone's staring at my nose any more, which was probably all in my head to begin with), but it's not the ticket to popularity, cash prizes, and an obliteration of your past. In fact, you may even find out that your "issue" has nothing to do with your nose. So, I really hope that this woman isn't completely crushed if she doesn't get the reaction that she's hoping for. Unless you're seriously deformed, no one notices a difference in your appearance unless you point it out. It's cliche, but you really, honestly, have to do it for yourself or you're going to be angry and disappointed.

Sigh....And people, high school was a long time ago (for most of us). Chances are, you're not even the same person any more. Don't let some dweeb who tortured you on the school bus dictate how you live your life now. Chances are, if he's any sort of worthwhile person, he feels bad about doing it in the first place. And look at it this way: if you were the prom queen, would you put it on your resume today? No? How about wear your prom queen sash to the bar? No, not that either? Ok. It's safe to say that nobody cares anymore.

Am I saying not to have plastic surgery? No, absolutely not. I'm just telling you that you need to manage your expectations.