What Is Beauty?

Elle Woods and I often have conversations about plastic surgery and various other cosmetic enhancements (dunno, Elle—had the shine treatment done last weekend…hair doesn’t seem much shinier). Anyway, we had a discussion about how your face gets thinner as you age and about how things like Restylane make you look younger (evidently, it doesn’t just “fill in” the wrinkles like you might think, it just sort of puffs your skin up…I don’t know…this isn’t the WrinkleBlog…one thing at a time here). And then I started telling Elle about some of the interesting things I read about what makes a person beautiful and what makes a person look young.

When I was researching my nose job, I came to realize that roundness of features is what makes one look young. I never really thought about this—in fact, I’ve always thought that fat people, whom I’d think were the most round-featured people, look older than their years. But there has to be a reason that people have fat pads stuck into their cheeks. After I read this, I started worrying about getting a sharp nose since Doc said he wanted to “define the tip” as if he’d have me going out of there looking like Ichabod Crane, and therefore aging me in the whole process (this didn't happen, but I didn't feel like writing a whole "Crazy Thoughts" post just on this).

Another interesting thing I came across was a mathematical theory of beauty. Why math? Like Jodie Foster says in Contact, “Because mathematics is the universal language.” I don’t pretend to understand this intimately, but the Golden Ratio has been described as “nature’s perfect number”. For instance, plants grow according to the Golden Ratio because, through that growth pattern, they can make the most efficient use of sunlight. The theory is, essentially, that which is the most logical is the most beautiful. Evidently, this was in The DaVinci Code, but you’ll have to ask someone who has actually read that book, which is, apparently, everyone else on planet Earth.

As an aside on The DaVinci Code, one of my favorite columnists, Jay Nordlinger of National Review—whose language notes in his Impromptus column I furiously apply in my own writing and speaking—wrote a segment years ago about the name of that book:

The mistake of referring to Leonardo as "da Vinci" is so entrenched, I'm afraid it's uncorrectable. I have had to fight with editors about this: You say "Leonardo," and they want to say "da Vinci," thinking it's his last name — thinking it's the same as saying "Reynolds." They think that, when you say "Leonardo," you're saying the equivalent of "Joshua." Actually, to say "da Vinci" is to say "of Orange," instead of "William."
…

You have to learn at some point. I remember when I learned — when I was a college student in Italy. An art-history teacher asked whether I was interested in a particular artist, and I answered, "da Vinci." He looked puzzled for a moment. Then recognition crossed his face, and he said, "Ah! Leonardo."

I wanted to crawl under a rock — but I learned, as, sooner or later, one does.

Ever since I read that, whenever I go home to Allentown and drive past the brand-spanking new “DaVinci Science Center” next door to Cedar Crest College, I get disgusted. /rant

Anyhow, there’s this fellow out in California who studied this and has come up with a “beauty mask”—actually rather scary-looking--of what the perfect face should look like based on the symmetry and harmony of the Golden Ratio (just like the tag line under my blog title!) If you want to play with it on the faces of some celebrities, click here.

If you want to read some more about it, this is an interesting website, and, if you’re so inclined, you can take a picture of yourself and measure your face and see how you match up.

So what is beauty? If there's a universal formula for it, what does it say for beauty being in the eye of the beholder?

Anyhow, Monday was the six-week mark. The pictures here were taken on Monday and Tuesday of this week. One thing I did notice this week is that I can flare my nostrils again! The whole nose is still pretty stiff, though it seems like some of the woodiness is going away. And slowly, I'm starting to get some feeling back on the right side. Oh! And my bloody eyeball FINALLY cleared up. Criminy, that took a long time to heal! It hasn't been enough for people to notice over the last few weeks, but still and all--it's been six weeks!